watching the legend of tarzan

i went to the cinema to watch the legend of tarzan yesterday. it's the third film i've watched alone at the movies and i'm really loving it. i hate when people talk to me when i'm watching a movie, and sometimes, if i'm watching a film i'm really excited about but the other person isn't, then i start to panic that they'll be bored, and then i can't enjoy the film anymore. which sucks.

i can't really say i love the film (all my favourites so far have left me with a hollowness as the credits start to roll - i think it's the feeling of having been too engaged in that alternate universe and the difficulty of extricating myself from it at the end. and with the legend of tarzan, that wasn't the case). but i enjoyed it nevertheless. it's one of those films where you have to force yourself to ignore the fact that the plot is as shallow as a kiddie pool, and just sit back and marvel at the special effects. it also helps that alexander skarsgård and margot robbie are such good-looking people (seriously though margot robbie is probably the coolest human alive).

one thing i was very angry about, however, was the fact that the sex scene and the final, epic kiss scene between jane and tarzan at the end were censored – because apparently malaysia is still stuck in the 1920s. this never used to be the case. why is an act of love being censored?? i really can't even fathom why anyone would deem a kiss "inappropriate". i'm positive there's a religious reason behind the decision, but it still doesn't make sense to me, and i'm still angry about it.

over and out,

starting afresh

this post is going to be one of wild ramblings.

i've been thinking lately about why i am so inconsistent with posting on this blog. whilst i haven't been loving this space here in the past, i also haven't been hating it. sometimes i think, "if i delete the blog, maybe i'll feel less resentment at myself for my lack of commitment at everything i do", yet i can't bring myself to actually do it.

i think one of the reasons why i don't post as much as i want to is because i have this perpetual thirst to be everywhere on social media, but at the same time, i also find social media to be quite irksome and unenjoyable. perhaps it is the pressure of our generation to be ever-present on the internet. or perhaps it is my own desire to create a persona that is unlike who i really am, living a life that is unlike my own, because sometimes i wallow in disappointment at the monotonous humming of my life. i created a youtube account and posted two videos on it, sparked with excitement at the prospect of documenting my days using a new medium. then the reality of how "the subscriber count shouldn't matter to you" is easier said than done set in, and the realisation of how i am unable to reach the audience i desire has extinguished that initial spark. and so my channel sits there, temporarily abandoned.

i fantasise about creating perfection. even though i know that that is forever unattainable, as i will forever be imperfect. and i don't think someone who is imperfect can produce something perfect. in my struggle to create this illusion of perfection, i have been trying so hard to sound more intelligent, more refined, more subdued on this blog than i actually am. i think that the reason why i don't post as often as i would like to is because i try to write like somebody other than me when i enter this blog.

mostly, i'm afraid of posting uninteresting things about my mundane life because it pales in comparison to the weekly escapades, and runway-worthy fashion, and mouth-wateringly beautiful cuisine that so many other bloggers on the internet partake in.

well, fuck it. i'm starting afresh. this is my space. i will not filter myself. i will post whatever i want, even if it's just a rambling post about a topic nobody else is interested in but me.

over and out,

2016 bucket list

this post pretty much sums up my thoughts about 2016 so far. just a trial month. 2016 actually really begins next week.

seeing as how i'm now 18 and an ADULT and can do things like vote and drink legally and get a credit card and have a job, i've made a vow to myself to make 2016 a year as full as it can possibly be. i will do everything (or most of the things) i've wanted to do since i was a young teenager.

and so, a bucket list for the new year, to be completed before this year ends:

i. get a septum piercing

i became somewhat obsessed with septum piercings this past summer. i love because it just looks really fucking cool. it's awesome how you can wear these rings with such intricate designs for special occasions whilst other people are just wearing fancy necklaces or dangly earrings. you instantly stand out. it's great.

ii. get a tattoo

i think tattoos are beautiful. it's the most personal form of self-expression (it's on your body – that's as personal as you can get), and it's also an amazing way to decorate yourself. the permanence of it is what i love most – the fact that despite whatever you go through in life, it will always stay on a your arm, or leg, or back, or chest. i have a penchant for saving photos of tattoos i like, just for future reference, and i've realised that most of the tattoos i've saved are really simple ones. i've been following stanislava's tumblr for quite some time now, and her 'home-made tattoos' are pure beauty.

iii. read at least 10 books

i have so many books sitting on my bookshelf that have not been opened even once. i want to read them, but IB + my laziness has meant that i haven't done much reading the past year. so this year, i'm trying to change that. i'm going to read those novels on my shelf.

iv. travel the world during the summer

i want to travel after i graduate from high school. i want to revisit seoul and tokyo and sydney and paris, and fly to toronto, then boston, then argentina, then hawaii. also india! india seems a wonderful place.

over and out,